Romance or Dating Scams: How They Work and Examples

Romance or dating scams are a form of online fraud where scammers exploit individuals seeking love or companionship. These scams typically occur on dating websites, social media platforms, and apps, where victims are tricked into forming emotional attachments and eventually coerced into sending money or personal information. These scams can be devastating, both emotionally and financially.

Here’s a closer look at how romance scams work, the tactics scammers use, and some real-world examples to help you stay aware and protect yourself.

• Be Skeptical of Fast Affection: Be cautious if someone you’ve never met is quick to profess love or deep feelings for you.

• Do Not Send Money: Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person, no matter how convincing their story may seem.

• Verify Their Identity: Do a reverse image search of their profile picture using tools like Google Image Search to see if their photos are associated with multiple profiles or scam warnings.

• Ask for a Video Chat: If someone refuses to video chat or meet in person after a reasonable amount of time, it’s a red flag.

• Report Suspicious Profiles: If you suspect someone is running a romance scam, report their profile to the dating site or app you’re using.

How Romance Scams Work

4. The Ask: Financial Requests

After building trust, scammers create a financial crisis or emotional emergency, prompting the victim to send money. Common requests include:

• Medical emergencies: Claiming they or a family member needs urgent surgery.

• Travel funds: Saying they’re stranded and need money to visit.

• Business expenses: Asking for money to complete a project or release a shipment.

• Customs or legal fees: Stating they’re stuck abroad and need help with fines.

5. The Long Con: Continuous Requests

Scammers often request more money, citing new emergencies, claiming previous funds didn’t clear, or saying they're in danger without further support. These scams can last for months, with victims promised a future together.

6. Disappearing After the Money

Once a significant amount has been obtained, the scammer may cut off all contact, leaving victims heartbroken and financially drained, with little chance of recovery.

Common Warning Signs of Romance Scams

• Moving Quickly: The scammer expresses love or deep emotional attachment very quickly, often within days or weeks of meeting online.

• Avoiding Video Calls: They refuse to meet in person or video chat, citing poor internet connections or being located far away.

• Asking for Money: They ask for financial help due to a medical emergency, travel issues, or business problems.

• Elaborate Excuses: Every time a meeting is arranged, an emergency or tragedy conveniently prevents them from showing up.

• Unverifiable Stories: Their backstory is filled with inconsistencies, and they avoid answering specific questions.

Real-World Examples of Romance Scams

Example 1: The Soldier Overseas Scam

A woman in the U.S. met a man online who claimed to be a soldier stationed overseas. He was charming and attentive, messaging her multiple times a day, sending sweet notes, and talking about how much he wanted to meet her when he returned to the U.S.

After a few months, the man said he wanted to send her a package containing valuable items, but he needed help paying customs fees. He asked her to wire $2,000. After she sent the money, he claimed the package had been detained, and customs wanted another $5,000. This request pattern continued until she realized she had sent over $15,000 to a scammer.

Example 2: The Widower with a Sick Child

A woman on a dating site met a man who claimed to be a widower with a young daughter. He told her heartbreaking stories about losing his wife and raising his child alone. After weeks of constant contact, he said his daughter was seriously ill and needed surgery but that he couldn’t afford the medical bills. Desperate to help, the woman wired him $10,000 to cover the surgery. Afterward, he disappeared without a trace.

Example 3: The Engineer Abroad

A man was approached by someone on a dating app who claimed to be an engineer working in the oil industry abroad. The scammer convinced him they had a deep connection and even sent a few gifts to build trust. After a few weeks, the scammer asked for help, saying they needed $20,000 to fix a business deal gone wrong. The victim, believing they were helping their future partner, sent the money, but the scammer disappeared afterward.

How to Protect Yourself

1. Creating a Fake Identity

Scammers typically create fake profiles on dating sites or apps, often using stolen or stock photos to create the illusion of a real person. They construct elaborate backstories, posing as someone attractive, successful, or sympathetic. Often, they pretend to be:

• Military personnel stationed abroad

• Businesspeople working in distant countries

• Engineers or doctors on overseas projects

• Widowed or divorced individuals with children

The goal is to establish trust by creating a persona that appears genuine, trustworthy, and emotionally appealing.

3. Over time, scammers manipulate the victim into developing strong emotional ties, using pet names, consistent messaging, and promises of a future together. They may:

• Message the victim multiple times a day

• Share fabricated personal details, such as their “dreams,” family stories, or career struggles

• Promise to meet the victim in person, but always find reasons to delay the meeting

2. Gaining the Victim’s Trust

Scammers work quickly to build rapport with their target. They shower the victim with affection, praise, and declarations of love or deep emotional connection. This process is often referred to as “love bombing,” where the victim is overwhelmed with attention and flattery.

FaceCheck.ID is a face recognition search engine that helps users verify individuals by uploading a photo. It can reveal matches from social media, news, and public records, providing insights into potential scam profiles, criminal records, and other online appearances. This tool is useful for identifying fake profiles, avoiding romance scams, and staying informed about individuals who may pose a risk. It prioritizes user safety and transparency by indexing publicly available images.

Romance scams prey on the emotional vulnerabilities of individuals seeking companionship. These scammers are skilled at gaining trust, creating elaborate stories, and manipulating emotions to convince victims to send money. By staying vigilant, recognizing the warning signs, and protecting your financial and personal information, you can avoid becoming a victim of these devastating scams. Remember, if something feels off, it probably is.